Otis G's Guide to Stopped Freeway Traffic

No need to memorize; it happens automatically.

1. Wonder why semi trucks are driving slowly with their flashers on. Assume that they're confused, and speed around to pass.


2. Nearly slam into the stopped vehicle in front of you.


3. Watch vehicles scatter to avoid any possible delay. This includes SUV's and trucks scaling on (and off) ramps and cars crossing the median to turn around. Some just pull over in instant defeat.


4. Merge into the left lane, because everybody else is.


5. Get irritated by the people flying by in the right lane, while wishing you were doing the same thing.


6. Get even more irritated at the people who let them in.


7. Let someone in from the right lane.


8. Realize there really was no reason to get in the left lane.


9. Watch emergency vehicles speed down the shoulder, and wish you could do the same thing.


10. Feel like the other lane is moving faster, regardless of which lane you're in.


11. Consider taking an exit. Decide not to, and then immediately wish you had. Repeat at the next exit.


12. Listen to people honking, and wonder what they possibly hope to accomplish in doing so.


13. Get extremely agitated when you realize the accident is on the other side of the freeway, and the only reason your side is backed up is from people gawking.


14. Gawk.


15. Speed away.

Craving Chaos, In Search of Silence

The radio in my beater commuter car sucks.

I'll be cruising down the highway, singing along with a song, when wham!... it goes dead like it was thrown in a bathtub. It's always temporary, sometimes it comes back on later that day... sometimes it takes a couple days.

I live in Post Falls, my kids go to school in Spirit Lake, and I work in the Spokane Valley. Four times a month I pickup/drop off my kids in Spirit Lake, which ends up being about an hour and a half commute each time. That doesn't include any additional trips to attend baseball games, dance recitals, and everything else parents want to be a part of.

As a result, I do a lot of driving. When my radio first started crapping out, it drove me insane to drive in silence. It felt very disconcerting. Over time, however, I realized what was starting to happen: I was forced to think about things. Sometimes, I'd even find myself talking out loud... as if I was discussing the things I was thinking about, with the person whom it was regarding.

Every time I caught myself doing it, I immediately stopped. In our society, when we think of people talking to themselves, we instantly view them as crazy. I'm fairly confident that I'm not crazy, and even if I am... I don't care. It was highly therapeutic, and helped me work out a lot of stress that I was going through. We all know that writing thoughts down can help get it out of our head... so why wouldn't saying it out loud have the same effect?

It did for me.

All of this brings me to a thought on basic human behavior: Everyday, we are surrounded by chaos. Hectic work places. Busy schedules. Negative news. And... we all hate it. About the only thing that gets us through is the idea that someday, somehow, we'll find a way to "get away from it all". Spend an afternoon at the ocean, hike to a secluded mountain lake, or hang out in the backyard for a lazy weekend.

So... if peace and quiet is what we're longing for... then why do we surround ourselves with chaos? We even do it when we have the occasional opportunity for peace. Many people leave their TV on all the time, for the noise. We crank the music in our cars, to keep our brains occupied. We schedule out every spare second of our lives.

Why? To keep from actually thinking about, or dealing with anything?

We surround ourselves in chaos, while searching for silence.

Now, I find myself enjoying my peaceful commutes. I've also found that with the radio off, I'm more apt to have conversations with whoever is in the car. Something else people tend to try and avoid.

And yeah, okay... I'll admit it. I still wish I had a car radio that works. :)

Who Needs the Month of May?

I just realized I didn't post a single thing in May. Oops. I've got a lot of stuff coming up, bear with me... including some new tunes from the latest 40 ounce J lineup. Wait till you hear Mavis sing our punk rock version of the song "Angel of the Morning"...

Gotta Love Facebook

I got a new friend request today, with the attached message:

"Hey you! This is (so-and-so)! Remember me? We went to high school together. We were friends... I think."

I confirmed the request, of course. I'm excited to reminisce about all the old memories...

If we have any.

She Wore a Pearl Necklace

Following my recent teaching experience, I still have one part of the ordeal stuck in my head:

When did kids become so rotten?

I was assured that the class I taught is a "fun" class, so kids aren't always on their best behavior. Still, I don't remember kids being that obnoxious in school... even in "fun" classes. I'm stopping short of saying "When I was your age..."

Then we take it back a few MORE years... let's say... to 1962!

I was perusing my Dad's high school yearbook the other day, and got a few laughs out of it. It was a time when picture day was a big deal, and every girl is wearing a dark dress with a pearl necklace. Every guy is wearing a coat and tie. What a bunch of squares! These people still knew how to shake things up, though. Check out the antics of 'ol Patrica Ann:


Yeah, you definitely wouldn't see the student's home address in the yearbook nowadays. And who can forget good 'ol Fred:



And what did these people do for a swingin' good time, you might ask? Well, I think Dianne had a great pastime:

This guy had a promising yearbook caption:

Golly! I hope he turned out all right. And the man who planted the seed for this post:

What a strapping young fellow. We better throw in my Momma for good measure (from an entirely different geographic location):


Her outfit is a little spicy compared to the chicks at my Dad's school. It's no wonder he held out for her.

Ah... yes. The glory days of 1962. And to top it all off, school violence was unheard of.
Oops. Never mind.

Living Green Isn't Just For Hippies

O'Malley never ceases to amaze me.

He's the epitome of what we term Green. And I don't mean he just recycles cans. He lives his life, everyday, wondering what else he can do to protect the environment. I jokingly call him a "hippy" (which he doesn't appreciate very much, I just think it's fun), but he says living Green really has nothing to do with being a hippy. A few months ago, he took it to a new level... and decided to start a new Green business.

It's a franchise called Clean Air Lawncare, with humble beginnings in Fort Collins, Colorado. Apparently, someone over there decided that gas-powered lawnmowers are a major source of pollution (and noise). They started a new lawn service, using electric mowers and organic fertilizers. The thing took off, and now there are several franchises around the country. O'Malley realized noone had laid claim to the Spokane area yet, and decided to jump onboard. He made a business plan, went to Colorado for training, and a couple weeks ago picked up his first company rig out of Portland. I saw it for the first time today, and immediately noticed the solar panels mounted on the roof. They serve as chargers for the mowers, so the environmental impact is practically zero. Very cool. And... the idea of not having to listen to noisy lawnmowers is quite appealing, too.

I wish him the best, although if the thing takes off... I'll possibly lose my best cubicle friend. But then again, when you have a desk job... mowing lawns sounds pretty good sometimes. I guess I better stop calling him a hippy. :)

He did get me back recently, and found this photo somewhere:

Strange... you'd think I'd remember being at Woodstock. But then again, I don't know if many do. :)

If you think this all sounds good, and live in the Spokane area, shoot O'Malley an email at tavis@cleanairlawncare.com.

It's Just Not Right.

While I'm waking up to 3 inches of new snow (during our alleged "Spring Break"), Mavis sends me a picture of herself on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York this morning:

The dude behind her in a t-shirt just adds insult to injury. :)