Monday, June 22, 2009

Otis G's Guide to Stopped Freeway Traffic

No need to memorize; it happens automatically.
  1. Wonder why semi trucks are driving slowly with their flashers on. Assume that they're confused, and speed around to pass.

  2. Nearly slam into the stopped vehicle in front of you.

  3. Watch vehicles scatter to avoid any possible delay. This includes SUV's and trucks scaling on (and off) ramps and cars crossing the median to turn around. Some just pull over in instant defeat.

  4. Merge into the left lane, because everybody else is.

  5. Get irritated by the people flying by in the right lane, while wishing you were doing the same thing.

  6. Get even more irritated at the people who let them in.

  7. Let someone in from the right lane.

  8. Realize there really was no reason to get in the left lane.

  9. Watch emergency vehicles speed down the shoulder, and wish you could do the same thing.

  10. Feel like the other lane is moving faster, regardless of which lane you're in.

  11. Consider taking an exit. Decide not to, and then immediately wish you had. Repeat at the next exit.

  12. Listen to people honking, and wonder what they possibly hope to accomplish in doing so.

  13. Get extremely agitated when you realize the accident is on the other side of the freeway, and the only reason your side is backed up is from people gawking.

  14. Gawk.

  15. Speed away.

1 comment:

JJ said...

You forgot to fit in there one other step. Maybe because it's something women do more than men.

12 1/2. Get cut off by the black Honda or white truck with a 4" lift and yell/scream at them, also accomplishing nothing. Immediatly wish you had honked.