Coming Soon...

The ultimate in municipal efficiency! :)

"I Wish I Could Have Known You, Tree!"

Now, I'm all for being concerned about the environment, but give me a break. They could have at least picked a bigger stump to cry over!



And as with all incredibly ridiculous YouTube videos, here's the parody:

And the Mastery of the English Language Continues...

Laughing in Paradise

Here's what happens when a motel is run by people who don't fully grasp the english language...

I don't get it. Not sure I want to.

Big or Small?

So, O'Malley and I decided to hit some fast food for lunch today. The place we went to had a... uh... little person working the front counter (isn't "midget" kinda bad to say nowadays?). Anyway, I ordered a soft taco combo, and he asked the inevitable question:

"Do you want it big or small?"

"Oh.... I like it small!"

Hmmm.

I couldn't tell which was worse, telling a little person that you "like it small", or being a little person who spends their day asking people if they want it "big or small".

Yes, I know. I overthink things sometimes. :) He was an incredibly nice guy, by the way.

Aqua Poo?

So, I'm standing in the checkout line at Wally World the other day, and I notice something on display up ahead...


From a distance, it looked like Aqua Poo. With much confusion, I tried to figure out what Aqua Poo could possibly be.

On closer inspection, I could better read the label... Aqua Pod. They were mini containers of bottled water.

Now, I'm no marketing expert... but why would you label something meant to be "pure" in a fashion that would possibly be construed as exactly the opposite?

It's all about the font, people!

"The List is Long and Distinguished." Goose, Top Gun

After writing my last post, I feel compelled to write a complete list of all the friends who got me through an incredibly chaotic chapter of my life. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a nickname for anybody who has a positive impact on my life.

Thank you, to everyone. You know who you are.

The Godfather
Farnsworth
Ookie
Sea Bass
Indy
Big B
MMJD
Homie
Dr. Allen
Glorious
aLEEEEEEsa
Hot Rod
Warren G
Fernando
Del
O'Malley
Ingot
Boggs
Donna
JJ
Spanky
McGillicuddy

The person who got me through the absolute worst time...

Punky

And the person who had the biggest part in guiding me back to myself...

McGee.

Some of the most memorable things said to me by these people:

"You're an honorable man."

"Promise me that when I walk by your desk in the morning, you'll be sitting there."

"Whether you ask him to or not, the Lord will watch over you."

"Here's a card with what to do if you ever lose it and get pulled over drunk."

"You need to be careful. People attach to you, and sometimes end up getting hurt. Without you even knowing it."

"At the lowest point in my life, I asked God for help. That night, my house was broken into. And then my life got better." (I did a similar thing; and that night my car was broken into. And then things got better.)

And probably the most important of all...

"Every person you date, every decision you make, every thing you do... needs to be based on one thing. What's best for your kids."

I think I'm actually going to be okay. It's a good feeling to finally have. :)